Saturday, December 29, 2018

Revolving Doors.

With a new year upon us, I find myself deep in reflection as I usually do. This year, my focus has been on the people that come in and out of our lives throughout the year. There is a quote that rings true as it states, "Look around. Nothing will be the same in a year" and that is so incredibly true. I tend to notice things more intricately than others. Not that I intentionally go looking for it (though in the past that has been the case) but I find out things I was unaware of. One thing I notice is when people unfollow me on social media or delete/block me entirely. I am offered the opportunity to add a friend I may know that I thought I already was friends with and have a "Hmm. Well how about that?" moment. I used to be offended by this and get very defensive and angry at those persons. How dare you delete ME? How dare you unfollow ME? BLOCK ME WILL YOU?? The thing is, I was being very hypocritical in this way of thinking. It wasn't a fair way of approaching the newfound knowledge, considering, I have done the same thing. I have unfollowed, deleted and blocked people myself because they weren't good for me or my inner peace. I didn't like their negativity or the way they handled situations. Because of this, I would close the tab on their page and not look back. In real life, I would close the door on relationships that just weren't providing what I needed anymore while still getting butthurt over others doing the same to me. It was like, I was allowed to control who came in my door and who I allowed out, but no one could do that to me. Horrible, I know. It is something I have come to terms with about myself over the years. It has only been in the past year or so that I realized, everyone has their own set of revolving doors. People come in and out every single day. And each person has every right who they let in and who they see out. Just as I felt others weren't good for me any more, I had to accept the fact that maybe, I wasn't good for others. Ouch. That is something we don't like thinking about ourselves. But, if we are being completely honest, there will be times we are that negative influence or a person someone just doesn't jive with anymore. It happens. That is life. If we continually surrounded ourselves with the people we have known our whole lives, ignoring the mental and emotional damage they are doing to us, we would not only have a pretty crappy life, but we would never meet those people that turned it all around. Granted, every person that walks in your door comes invited. You welcome them into your life and ask them to stay awhile. You learn about them and they about you. Sometimes they unpack for a lengthy stay, while other times they only take out the essentials and keep the rest packed up, you know, just in case they need to leave quickly. It isn't always easy when they decide they have overstayed their welcome and make the decision to leave early, but it is theirs to make. And no one should stay where they don't feel they can grow or be happy. And you don't get to make the decision on that. But if you pay attention, when those persons leave, others walk in. The revolving door keeps a stead influx of people moving through it. Sometimes people leave through that door so the option to come back is still there, sometimes they leave through the big wooden door that makes the whole house shake when they slam it behind them. If they chose that door, let them leave in peace without taking yours. Our entire life is a series of doors. Each one presenting different options, new people and well wishes. Remember though, doors work both ways. You can make the decision to open them or close them. But too, other people can make that decision as well. Never block a door that is meant to be left through. You can't force relationships. If you have to force it, it isn't real. Just because someone goes along with your forced demands doesn't mean it is what is right. It usually isn't. And it is definitely not fair to either person. Allow people to come and go. Everyone has the right to do what they feel is best for their life. So keep the door available for any entrances and exits. And remember, locking it not only keeps the right people out, but the wrong people in. We all deserve the right to leave when we feel we need to. Let people go when they need to. It's okay. That's what doors are made for. When they leave, always be gracious and thank them for stopping by. I guarantee they taught you something with their stay.

Settling is Sinking. You Were Born to Rise.

When someone thinks of something "settling", one of the first things that comes to mind is a house. I remember growing up, every t...