Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Settling is Sinking. You Were Born to Rise.

When someone thinks of something "settling", one of the first things that comes to mind is a house. I remember growing up, every time I would hear creaks in the house that scared me, my parents would say, "It's okay. It's just the house settling." It wasn't until I was older and began watching HGTV (and after becoming a real estate agent myself for like....six months) that I learned the more in depth meaning of what it was when a house settled. Settling is sinking. The house itself is slowing sinking into the ground. The soil around the foundation has changed and can no longer safely accommodate the structure of the house. Settling eventually causes foundation problems. The safety and reliability of the once strong and certain foundations begin to falter and slowly sink into the earth. There are ways to prevent this from happening; such as proper drainage systems and clear gutters, but once the house is has just accepted where it is and refuses to be back on solid ground. It is comfortable. That is where it has been for years and the ground just kind of accepted it. But the truth is, settling is sinking, no matter how you look at it.

Now, lets use this example as a reference for our lives as humans. It is very easy to settle. Especially if the foundation around us is weakening and it just seems easier to stay where we are. We are tired. We are just...comfortable. Regardless of how badly we want something better or know that there is more solid ground elsewhere, we cannot convince ourselves to move because, well, we have been in this place for a long time and I mean, we are doing okay I guess. Right? We settle into jobs, relationships, friendships and thoughts. We settle into our ways and our past. We get so comfortable in what is happening around us because, that's what we have always done. That is how our life has been for 1, 5, 10, 50 years. We compromise happiness for comfortability, for that sure thing and for the normal. Here is a secret; nothing life changing happens inside comfort.

To experience those life changing moments, those new adventures, the pathways to happiness and to a new normal; we have to get outside of the comfort zone boxes we have put ourselves in. We have to climb out of the soggy soil and back onto solid ground. That is where your foundation is strengthened. That is where your willpower and courage is put to the test. How badly do you want those things that get you excited? How much do you want to change your life for the better? How hard do you want to work for those goals that can only come to fruition outside the settlement? Why do you think those people who settled here build settlements? Because, it was familiar. They were called settlements because they chose to settle there, within the walls and land of a certain area. And what happened when someone chose to venture outside the confines of the settlement walls? People thought they were crazy! They said it was dangerous and uncertain. Exactly. Outside of the walls they built to keep life out was exactly where life happened. Every discovery and every new connection was made out there. But they had to take the chance and want something more than they wanted the comfort.

Here's the deal; sometimes doing what is better for you means moving on from what you originally thought was best. Settling is sinking. You were born to rise. You were meant for so much more than you have accepted for yourself. By settling into that job that you stay at even though you have a passion for something else, you lose your passion for life. By settling into that relationship that you have been in for years so may as well stay in it even though you are miserable and things aren't going so well, you are missing the opportunity to meet someone that makes you genuinely happy and will change your life. By settling into that friendship because you have known them since Kindergarten and they know everything about you but they treat you unfairly and hurt you repeatedly, you are settling for less than you deserve and passing up people who truly love and care about you. By settling into those thoughts you have always have you will get the results you have always gotten.

Settling is a pattern. It is a series of choices that lead you right back to the same place you are now. To break patterns what do you have to do? You have to steer away from the normal motions or behaviors. By doing so, you create an entirely new pattern that can be anything you want it to be. And if later on you don't like that pattern? Well, you do the same thing. There are no rules. There are not set patterns you can create. Stop settling. Stop sinking into a life that you are not fully living. Rebuild your life. Re-establish your soil. Strengthen your foundation. Rise.

Friday, August 2, 2019

Safe Travels. Enjoy the Journey.

While scrolling through my social media today, I saw a photo a friend posted of him in an airport, heading off to start a new adventure. Throughout the comments there were well wishes and sad emojis at the thought of him flying off across the sea. But in addition, there were quite a few comments of the same saying; "Safe Travels. Enjoy the Journey."

This stuck out to me in such a way that I began thinking on it quite excessively. It also came at a time when I am dealing with my own prospects of having to move on and begin again. When we are put in the position to let go of or move on from something, it can be easy to let the emotions overtake us; whether they be feelings of happiness, excitement, fear, sadness, anger or bitterness. The same comes with the timing of having to watch someone else leave from our lives; whether to pursue new ventures, new people or just because it is time to let them go from their part in our story. In those situations, it can be very easy to become overwhelmed with what is happening. But the truth is, no matter the reason, we should always wish them safe travels and tell them to enjoy the journey.

The journey in itself can be quite daunting. Life, in all its beauty and intimidation, can be hard. Will be hard. Sometimes...most of the time....we won't understand why things are happening the way they are. Especially in those extreme moments of confusion, loneliness and heartache. Here's the thing; you don't have to understand the journey. You just have to trust the destination. The understanding will come with the arrival. Easier said than done, yes?

Maybe this will bring you some comfort; every single human on this earth experiences the exact same fears as you do. They may hide it or carry it differently, but they do. Knowing this precise fact is the reason we must always wish people safe travels and to enjoy the journey. It can get precarious out there. The world is filled with the unknown, the uncertain and the sad reality of people that don't have the same heart as you. But at the same time, the journey also brings growth, learning, strength, love, bravery, indescribable beauty, connections and soul changing moments.

Letting go is never easy. I would be lying if I said it is. But if you sincerely care about someone, sometimes that is the best thing you can do for them; and for yourself. Letting go doesn't have to be negative. Throughout this life thing we are always and forever changing. Yet we are always consistently seeking stability. Regardless of how desperately we try and hang on to certain aspects, they aren't meant to stay. Every day we are learning and growing into the humans we are destined to be. Life must change as we do. It must add and remove as needed like a puzzle searching for the pieces to complete the full picture. We are the puzzle, and forcing pieces to fit only damages the puzzle itself.

Allow life to happen. Allow it to arrange and rearrange the pieces meant to form your end result. It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile is. Let go. Breathe in happiness and exhale everything that could bring you down. Pick up your bags. Help others pack theirs. Wish each other well on this inevitable path to where we are meant to end up. And do it by offering the most appropriate send off you could provide; "Safe Travels. Enjoy the Journey."

Settling is Sinking. You Were Born to Rise.

When someone thinks of something "settling", one of the first things that comes to mind is a house. I remember growing up, every t...