Clap Clap Clap Clap

I had never actually sat down and fully watched the entire series of "FRIENDS" until recently. Sure, I had seen episodes here and there and knew the basic information, plot etc, but never watched the complete series in succession. As I watched, I learned that everything from the theme song down to the characters was my life. No, I don't live in NYC in an apartment and sip coffee in a shop daily (though I do sit on my couch and drink coffee daily so I mean, the similarities are there), but personality and life wise....I was watching me. Take the theme song for example, "So no one told you life was going to be this way *clap clap clap clap*"....first of all, if you didn't sing that in your head and actually do the claps, do you even really experience this show fully? But seriously, we all have this image in our heads of what life is going to be. And then, life happens. Actually happens. And we are left standing or sitting or sometimes curled up in a ball rocking back and forth screaming, "NO ONE TOLD ME LIFE WAS GOING TO BE THIS WAY!!!!" If you have not, kudos. And you are also a liar. I know that I either think, say or yell this phrase into the sky at least once a week. Why? Because sometimes, my life is a joke, I am broke and my love life is totally DOA. I seriously evaluate what exactly is happening and where exactly I went wrong. For instance, right now, my life is in a snowball effect of bad things happening. I have cried a few times, but now all I can do is laugh, because the crying sure isn't helping. May as well smile my way through it. I am in between jobs so basically, the broke thing, completely relevant. There were 6 consecutive days I ate ramen noodles and for dessert had leftover fortune cookies from God knows when but I know one of those places went out of business years ago. For fiber, I ate the fortune itself also. Love life? I have to Google exactly what that is because it has been so long. It isn't only DOA, it is a DNR with an RIP. But hey, I have myself and I am pretty funny and romantic and own every Disney movie so...who is the real winner here? Indeed, I feel stuck in second gear and as 2018 approaches, I can confidently say it has definitely not been my day, week, month or year. In fact, while writing this, I spilled my glass of milk, so it hasn't really been my minute or second either. But no use crying over it. Heh. Anywho, yes...I am the FRIENDS theme song to an exact description. Depending on the day, I am also any one of the six characters. For instance, today...I am definitely a Ross. I am overdramatic and watching romance movies pining over someone that may or may not have feelings for me as well. Yesterday, I was Phoebe. I was all over the place not making any sense except to myself while my roomie just kept looking at me like I had officially went off the deep end (he was the Chandler at that point). There are days I myself am Chandler. I overanalyze other people's lives while trying to make it through on nothing but a dry sense of humor and puns. More often than not, I am Joey. I spend my days either talking about women, eating food or taking naps. I want to be an actor and become famous but have no earthly idea how to make that happen. So I audition for random roles and own the hell out of them. My friends sometimes have to loan me money and I say inappropriate things at least 99.6% of the time. On the days that I am not in the mood for bullshit, I am Monica. I use my boredom to become overly OCD and I clean up everything I can around me, except for my own life. I become super cynical and on the defense about everything. I feel as though no one understands me and that I will never be good enough. That is why I clean and make things look better, because in that moment, my life is a mess and I have no idea how to fix it. Then there are my Rachel days. Even though I have lived away from home for five years, I still have no idea how to be on my own. I was a daddy's girl (which I am totally okay with and will be until I am 95), but I have no sense of direction when it comes to where to go in life. I am naive and scared. But also courageous and strong. I am a huge conundrum and basically just make it all up as I go along. Regardless of who I am on what day, I am literally a whole cast of characters, living in a small apartment in the city of Orlando, drinking way too much coffee, completely clueless as to what exactly I am doing and looking for someone to be there for me when the rain starts to pour. I will say, I am lucky in the sense I do have those people. The ones who will dance with me in a fountain sporting umbrellas laughing at life because really, what else can we do? I think we all have a little Central Perk in us. And we go home to our purple walls and yellow framed peepholes. And I am totally okay with that. 

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.